Tomorrow, Who Knows Where We'll Be
by Stoic Harlequin
Summary: Ninja Turtles are not meant for the world above. Certainly not in a mundane and docile environment and definitely not as a third wheel. This is a response to a challenge and parody.


**::Author's Note::**

Again, a front loading author's note! It's rare for us. This is a response, issued by mindymouse/M.D. Owen, to a challenge on Stealthy Stories that is listed as follows:

_This is a goofy idea._  
><em>With OCs, we all quietly believe authors do self-inserts and then that might open the road to Mary SueGary Stu-dom. Everything's just peachy-perfect, right?_

_**The fun challenge:**_  
><em>Write a TMNT character hooked up with you (or vice versa). The challenge is that you must point out all the bad qualities and disadvantages of the relationship, why it wouldn't work, etc. Tap in your humorous side. Go bananas, eat them, and then slip on the peels.<em>

This story is written from a psuedo and exaggerated experience, certainly the 'Supernatural' part. ^_^ We tried to tap into our funny, we hope you're at least half as amused as we were. Thank you Leo for being a good sport throughout this piece.

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><p><strong>Tomorrow, Who Knows Where We'll Be<strong>

We could have been great...we would have been great...if it wasn't for _her_.

Harley was a pretty girl, at least I thought she was - in personality. She had that free-spirited naivety that Mikey seemed to harness. There was a certain draw to her for it; I couldn't help but smile when I was around her. I remember wondering a few times why she was into me when I hadn't nearly half the energy she had every day. I mean, I'm fairly abnormal by all standards when it comes to everything in regard to relationships. First of all, I've never had one, at least a romantic one. I based a good deal of my behaviors on the way I was with my brothers. I thought it was odd that she seemed to favor me - ridiculously favor. She seemed to like to take in strays and nurse them back to health. Her love was but a boon for me, a welcomed relief as I didn't have to do much to earn it. It actually felt sort of nice to be treated so fondly.

I didn't realize, at the time, she wasn't 'single'.

In the four bedroom house she owned - she once told me something about her grandfather having it built for her. I don't really remember the details exactly as it was hard to sometimes follow what she said. She sort of often went off on these high-energy, mile-a-minute tangents that I couldn't always follow. It was perched on the white sand beaches of Florida; her favorite place to be. I thought I could be comfortable. It seemed ideal for a turtle to retire, all that sun and water. There were no Foot ninjas and a girl that really seemed to enjoy my history and tales. She certainly gasped at all the right parts, 'ooh'ing and 'ahh'ing when it fit. Get your mind out of the gutter please, it's not the proper spelling of 'tale' you're thinking of.

Life seemed perfect with her. That was, at least, until I actually made it into the kitchen of that oversized house. It seemed silly and exorbitant for one person. I didn't really notice her at first - she's quiet, not like Harley who wouldn't stop talking even when I asked her. She just had a mind that moved faster than most and, as a result, her lips followed suit like she spoke in a stream of consciousness. Once, I even had to lightly place my hand over her mouth to get the kiss I'd asked for several minutes earlier. She'd agreed to it, but got caught up in some story about her job that then led to an adventure she had in Boston once, but that had nothing on the trip to Japan, how about them Yankees huh? Anyway, I thought there was an intruder and _almost_attacked her. Stoic seemed to fit her name admirably, from that first day I met her. 'Met' being a very key word as I mostly just smiled and she smiled back. I think she said 'hi' but I can't be sure as her mouth moved, but no sound ever seemed to come out.

Harley insisted she wasn't always like that, but she never seemed any different to me.

It was about after the fourth time, while watching a movie, that I had to lean around Harley to hand Stoic the popcorn she asked for - though I never heard that either - that I realized that I wasn't dating one girl. Instead, l - I was dating a girl and her not entirely connected Siamese twin. They _never _parted. The term best friends didn't entirely apply as at least a friend says goodbye once and a while. Never mind all the time they both spent talking on AIM in the same room...to each other. And the writing...I think, sometimes, they forgot the real world existed. I wonder what the hell they were writing all the time that was so much fun. I considered how I didn't notice this when the pretty little dark haired girl took interest in me. No one told me I was signing up for a package. Where was the fine print on this? I liked that Harley wasn't much taller than me - if at all. Stoic and her lean, towering body sometimes intimidated me. Not because my katana couldn't cut through her just the same as any enemy, but strictly as she wasn't an enemy; yet not nearly as invisible as she wanted to make herself half the time.

When Harley wasn't pouring her Mikey-like energy into me, she was talking about how amazing Stoic was. It was fine at first - I didn't mind hearing about the people important to her. That was, at least, until I came home one day, ready to see my girlfriend - in a more private manner - that it finally met the end. I pushed the door open, thinking she'd be sleeping. After all, there was no light peeking through the crack in the door that I could tell. If I could have been any more naked, to set the mood, I would have. I most certainly wished the same of her, my lust hardly disguised. But, much to my dismay, she was on the floor - like a twelve year old - legs folded under her with Stoic at her side...like always. A full cookie sheet of homemade nachos spread out in front of them, half eaten and both were laughing wildly at something on the television. She beamed at me, excited at my presence. She invited me to join them as they celebrated Sam and Dean, whoever that was on the show they were watching, killing whatever critter they were after.

There's no greater sexual buzz kill than a teen-age style floor-sleep-over-party made by adults, with the lights off and a couple of brothers who - if given the chance and knowledge - would probably hunt me as a demon. At least I figured as much when I learned more later. I asked the right questions to Don about who Sam and Dean could be and what they actually do on this show called _Supernatural_.

Mikey said I was dumb for ending it. "Doooooooode, you could have scored a two-for-one. You know how many guys would kill for it? What the hell?" When he asked me if they were both pretty I drew the line - there was no part of me that would entertain his wild fantasies. It just made me sick. The fact that they were was beside the point. I tried not to think about the fact that Stoic, even as…well stoic...as she was, was just as pretty as her shorter friend.

I didn't want that, it's not in me to feel that way - and Mikey, he wouldn't either if he really thought about it. I wanted just Harley, just the girl that made me laugh and smile...but I knew I was never going to get her to myself. Mikey was just being a little overly gregarious. Sometimes, I think he'd have been better off with Harley but I was the one she met and the one she liked. I wasn't the only stray she took a liking to, however...I guess she just liked Stoic more.


End file.
